catalogue of a categorically cataclysmic concatenation.
The Infinite Cat Project
is about one cat watching another (see below).
A long line of
1815 cats so far. The very first
Infinaut is Frankie,
seen at left admiring a flower. He is (was) the
owner of Paul Hamilton. The ICP also offers all KINDs of other cat-related
diversions. Check 'em out!
If you'd like to add
your own fuzzy friend to the Infinite
Queue you can find all the details here. Or
just take a picture of your kitty watching Chief, below, and email it
to me. It's just that easy.
24, 2017 - "Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse." -
Robert A. Heinlein
Kute Kittiness: "Is it time to sleep again yet?"
for past Infinite Cat stories?
You can find archived Infinite Cat postings
by clicking the RSS button at the top of this page. - Love, The
You can search our Infinite Cats in convenient
Mewvie: The Ikea cat.
Cat Art: "Inktober
to convince your landlord to let you have a cat
by Alex Casey
Here is a concise list of things I have managed to do inside my home
as a human adult woman:
1) Tripped down the stairs holding a giant blueberry smoothie and coated
the cream carpets, cream curtains and white walls in deep purple blood
splatter like some kind of fitspo Dexter.
2) Did a backwards roll off a couch when I was drunk and put my big toe
through the wall
3) Slightly scorched a kitchen wall with actual fire whilst trying to
stew a humble pot of apples
Here is a list of things my cats have managed to do:
1) Meow softly
2) Look cute
With that in mind, I know I’m not alone in the frustration of scrolling
through endless properties that bark NO PETS, and dealing with property
managers who look at you at you like you just threw up a jellyfish when
you casually drop the fact that you might have some small furry flatmates
waiting in the wings. Why people are rocked to their very core by this
revelation, when 64% of New Zealanders are pet owners, is beyond me.
We are world leaders in pet ownership, which is a fact that I find extremely
What’s less cute is the fact that only 14% of landlords allow pets
in their rental properties, ignoring the fact that millions of people
in New Zealand will be in cahoots with rentals for longer than a few
months, or even a few years. In fact, most of us have been led down the
aisle at gunpoint to join with renting in holy matrimony for the rest
of our lives, without the possibility of a divorce in sight. What a shame
we aren’t even allowed to put up a painting or plant a lemon tree
in our new marital home.
And GOD HELP YOU if you decide to bring pets into the equation.
My partner and I have only had our cats for a year and a half, and have
been looking and applying for our own place to rent throughout. Whilst
I’ve been endlessly parading around open homes in posh blazers
I never wear and staring into empty cupboards thoughtfully, I’ve
also been noting down the various pieces of advice that landlords, property
managers and pet owners alike have been passing on. Here are all the
tips I’ve collated on how to convince a cruel and harsh world to
allow your cat to set its tiny cat foot inside the precious mouldy, drafty,
damp, uninsulated rental of your dreams.
Get a pet referee
I shit you not, this is a very real thing and a very effective thing.
Just like you need to provide employer references, character references,
an etching of your face in a slice of toast and a small vial of your
urine, it’s a good idea to get someone to vouch for the character
of your furry mates. Landlords want to know that your cats aren’t
going to spray everywhere, tear up the carpet and presumably take over
the world like that evil Russian one in Cats and Dogs.
You can also go one step further and make them a CV if you are that way
inclined… But who would ever bother doing that….
Give them the ol’ Puss in Boots eyes
Some people in my online cat support group (all of the Internet) advised
getting the landlord to meet your pet first, but does that mean you have
to bring them to the viewing in a cage? Seems OTT. Good idea in theory – who
doesn’t love a soft kitten??? – but if you have erratic rescue
cats like me then you never know which way it’s going to go.
Take note from the old lady who swallowed a fly
One of my friends once did a Trojan Horse move inspired by the nursery
rhyme. They moved into a flat with the (secret) cat, then casually mentioned
there was a mouse problem. Offering to sort the problem out themselves,
they wheeled out the cat to eradicate the invisible mice. Then bring
in a dog to sort the cat problem, a capybara to sort the dog problem
and a horse to sort the cabybara problem.
Offer the landlords everything you have
Okay, it’s important to note that a landlord charging you a pet
bond is actually illegal, but many many people in my criminal underbelly
circles advised that offering extra cold hard cash is the only way forward.
Landlords seem to be constantly terrified that your cat will tag the
walls, rip the curtains up and leave to join The Parnell Pussies with
Obviously, not everyone is in the position to pay extra when forking
out bricks of gold to cover the regular bond as it is. We definitely
weren’t, because cats are fucking expensive as it is, man. Zelda
once refused to do a crap for five days at the vet and cost us about
a million dollars. It might be the most expensive cat poop that’s
ever been dropped. At least our landlord didn’t have to lose sleep
about her pooping on the carpet for a few nights (she’s never done
that + is an angel).
You know the drill, just get a big ol’ trench coat and chuck your
kits in it like a bunch of circus folk.
Or you could wrap them in up
in a stroller but be careful because heaps of landlords hate little kids
Once I was shockingly instructed by an actual property manager that lying
about my cats to the landlord and hiding them away when inspection rolls
around would be totally fine. I refused. Lying is notoriously bad and
history has shown it makes your nose grow heaps, plus how do you stay
cool about the giant cat palace you’ve got in the corner of your
Shave them and blame a naked mole rat infestation
Only have one cat
Another thing I’ve been told more than once is that landlords might
stretch to accommodate one cat, but certainly not two. “You should
think about only having one,” a woman on the phone cooed down the
phone to me, as I wept gently at another tenancy offer rejected.
YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT ONLY HAVING ONE???
And if your cat is actually a dog…
Peace be with you but it’s time to pack up and move to Mars. Matt
Damon managed to survive, you should be fine.
you have to do is go to freekibblekat.com,
play a simple trivia game and the site donates kibble to
needy animal shelters. It's free and you can play once a day, every day.
They obviously make a few bucks for themsleves but it's clear that the
majority of proceeds goes to the animals, so please stop in when you
PS, you can also totally
send some kitty vittles with just a click at theanimalrescuesite.com.
Just visit the site and press the big purple button. That's all there
is to it.
Also, make sure you visit MyPetNeedsThat.com for a great selection of
the best products for cats.
Need a custom web
site that's attractive, fast-loading, Google-friendly and,
relatively-speaking, dirt cheap? Then see my friends at X-Site-D
Web Creation. Tell
'em Mike sent ya!
link above and
help support the
My Infinite Gratitude
The following is
a relatively short yet very heartening list of those
who have contributed in
support of the Infinite Cat
of listing the names
in any intelligent way I decided to post them alphabetically.
It's not a perfect system, as those of you of Polish descent
get the shaft again <grin> but at least it helps me
keep the names straight.
In case you're wondering, names in white indicate donations
of $5 or less, while green notates donations
in excess of $10. The
lover who recently earned the prestigious "Quadruple Kittyhead"
for her generous and continuing support. (You know who you
are and I want to have your children.)
Adam, S. Adams, L. Aimone,
S. Almaguer, G. Ancell,
M. Axtell, A. Bachman,
D. Baker, O. Balaban, K. Berenson, H.
T. Blassingame, P. Blassingame,
A. Bolt, R. Bruner, J.
Bullas, A. Chiang, M. Cogen, D. Conlin, B. Coren,
M. Cracauer, D.Davis, M.
Dawson, J. Delton, T. Devrick, J. Diamond,
T. Dixon, C. Dofer, E. Dorfman,
B. Dutton, E. Fitzpatrick,
B. Fonteboa, E. Foss, B. Friesner, G. Garcia, M. Gordon,
A. Greeley, A. Gunn, J.
B. Harper, J. Hays, T.
D. Herbert, A. Hertz, M. Hester,
A. Hilbert, K. Hildebrandt, A.
Houser, V. Huston, , J.
Ikeda, B. Jones,
S. Jowett, P. Keachie, M. Knight, R.
W. Lee, M.
Lufkin, C. Lewis, K.
MacKenzie, M. Mcgann,
J. McGinnis, M. Mckercher,
S. Melhuish, T. Miles, D.
A. Neduha, A. Nelson, L. Nevins,
C. O'Brien, A. Ocean,
www.oldamericancentury.org, K. Orman, K.
Otto, Pinky & Bunny,
R. Owens, J. Pavlov, R. Perry, C. Phillips,
H. Pirani, C. Plant, R. Poletto, K. Pride, D.
Rakowski, R. Redman, R. Riitala, M. Ryan,
W. Ryngwelski, D. Sanders, M.
H. Sherwood-Taylor, J.
Sokel, S. Somero, M. Stabile, F. Street, J.P.
Thompson, D. Thoms, G. Toland, C. Ullrich,
J. van Luyt, A. Walls, J. Weisenfeld, K.
Welles, B. Wilkinson, J. Williams.