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Infinite Cat Project Archives for March 6-10, 2017.

Mewsings: March 6, 2017 - "I think I'll come back as a cat." - George Ney

tiger with snow  on its face

Gratuitous Kute Kittiness: "Winter better be going."

Cat Mewvie: Cat torture.

cat that likes jeopary

Today's Kitty Komic

cat painting by louisde lacourse

Feline Art: "Three Cats" by Louise Lacourse.

gray cat with blue eyes

When the cat goes missing.
by Adam Golightly

Something is wrong. “Is Harry in?” I don’t claim a sixth sense but, with no rational reason, I have arrived home and am immediately fearful for Harry, Helen’s humongous Siberian cat. “As we left for Matt’s music lesson, Harry headed into the garden,” replies Helen’s sister Sarah, who helps on Mondays, bringing her sibling’s joy and values to the kids. I peer out into the darkness with inexplicable apprehension.

Once, when Millie was three months old, I left her in her pram at a post office. The further I walked, the greater the grip of ill-defined but icy unease. Back at the car, this became a double-handed yank of manic panic as the empty straps of her car seat shouted, “You’re a dad now, dickhead.” I sprinted back pursued by hellish visions of loss and calamity that might befall my abandoned baby. She was fine and I’ve been lucky not to feel that same cold touch since; until now. I run into the garden, shrilly screaming, “Harry, Harry, Harreeeeee”, like a tweeny Potter fan on premiere night.

Harry should be in the garden. He always is. Not wanting him lost, run over or stolen, when Helen’s kitten arrived a few months before she died, I bought a cat fence. There is a radio wire encircling the garden that sends a signal to his collar if he tries to escape, which buzzes ever louder before delivering a small static shock. Like a Pavlov’s pussy, he backs away at the first buzz, thwarted but unharmed.

“Dogs are a five on the shock setting but cats must be 10 – they see a squirrel and go!” warned the salesman. I had visions of a cartoon cat with fur on end but, in practice, it seems less cruel than him being run over or nicked. It is not just for his sake, but I fear terribly telling the children that Harry has gone. He is the ersatz fourth family member and a lovely living reminder that their mum was once here too.

So Harry is free to roam our roomy garden with its hidey-hole bushes, trees to climb and wildlife to terrorise, gloriously ignoring the seller’s, “Must be a house cat, Mr Golightly.” Outside, he is slightly feral – wrapping his front legs around grey squirrels, dispatching them with raw paw-power. Luckily, around the house, Harry is, in every sense, a pussycat.

And now there he is, mewing unhappily in a neighbour’s garden after taking a treetop escape route, newly accessible now that his increasing size allows him to leap greater distances. The wire’s signal meant he couldn’t then return; so, collarless, he is now heading home in the arms of an ecstatic Millie and Matt. I follow, almost mute with relief, barely yelping when his collar, safely tucked in my rain-dampened pocket, zaps my arse as I walk too close to the fence.

“Dad, you didn’t need to panic!” lectures Matt. He’s right. But after a lifetime of longing for a cat, Helen found in Harry the magical one she wasn’t allergic to, and maybe the intensity of her love for him has made mine that much greater.

However, Harry’s sphere of influence extends outside his wire-fenced prison garden. He is an outstanding online dating asset, flattering by association the middle-aged schmuck who feeds him. Almost all my matches “like cats”, and Harry inspires easy banter. Some are chaste, knowledgable observations, “Oh, he’s blue eyed. That must mean he’s from the Neva river”; others are baser wordplay in a fun way, which Mrs Slocombe from Are You Being Served? would enjoy – she of, “Oh, look! It’s a diamanté collar for my pussy.”

Harry is also unafraid to pass judgment on people, to the dismay of lovely local Katie, a smart, kind, sexy date who likes kids, cats and me. Instead of Harry’s “love me” tummy roll, Katie was greeted by an appalling caterwaul and carpet-claw action. Maybe she had a squirrel stuffed in her handbag; whatever, it was hard not to sense deep disapproval and things somehow ground to a halt between us.

Looking now into Harry’s eyes, I see something mystical. I really do. Crazy cat man or weird widower in need of urgent treatment? Harry would probably suggest shock therapy.

Mewsings: March 7, 2017 - "Actually, cats do this to protect you from gnomes who come and steal your breath while you sleep." - John Dobbin

six cats in a bed

Gratuitous Kittiness: The more cats the better, right? Right?

Cat Mewvie: That's one ballsy cat.

cats anboyed by squaking comic

Today's Kitty Komic

cat art by kazuaki horitomo

Feline Art: Artist unknown.

Mewsings: March 8, 2017 - "Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose."
- Garrison Keillor

kitten in book cover

Gratuitous Kittiness: Wedge issue kitten.

Cat Mewvie: Swan dive kitty.

comic about unusual cat beds

Today's Kitty Komic

cat wig painting by casey weldon

Feline Art: "Cat Hair"by Casey Weldon.

cat news

Turn any doodle into a cat.
by Mike Wehner

Everyone knows that the internet loves cats in all shapes and sizes, but a new web tool is testing the limits of just how hideous a cat can be before we throw our arms up in disgust. It’s a machine learning experiment called Edges2cats, and it can produce some truly hideous monstrosities the likes of which you’ve never even dreamed of. It’s also an incredibly fun time waster, so let’s dive in.

Built by Christopher Hesse, the tool utilizes Google’s machine learning software library TensorFlow. All you have to do is draw a doodle in a plain white box and let the machine attempt to turn it into a cat. The algorithm was trained using “about 2,000 stock cat photos” and pulls from its knowledge base to fill in the lines with what it thinks makes up a cat.

The beauty of the tool is that you can draw quite literally anything, and once the computer brain is done getting all artsy you’ll get something either totally adorable or absolutely disturbing. Most of the time, the computer does a really fantastic job making the creature you drew look like a believable animal, but sometimes things just don’t work out.

Hesse has used the machine learning library to make a few other cool drawing tools as well, including ones that create building facades, shoes, and handbags, but it’s clear that the cat creation tool is the most hilarious and frightening. Just remember, you can’t unsee.

Mewsings: March 9, 2017 - "I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." - Hippolyte Taine

fluffy gray cat

Gratuitous Kittiness: King of the Floof.

Cat Mewvie: "Fuckin' tiger!"

cat like stalin comic

Today's Kitty Komic

five cats painting by louise lacourse

Feline Art: "Five Cats" by Louise LaCourse.

Mewsings: March 10, 2017 - "Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner." - Gary Smith

cat with heart on side sleeping

Gratuitous Kittiness: "I heart naps."

Cat Mewvie: German cat commercial.

passive agressive kitty comic

Today's Kitty Komic

cat painting by amy comelli

Feline Art: "Smokey" by Amy Giacomelli.

bear cat

Neighbor shares the grief of lost cat.

Two weeks ago, a cat named Bear sadly passed away, leaving his owners completely devastated.

Bear was a playful boy who spent most of his time with his brother, Teddy. They loved to go on adventures and run around with each other – and apparently, they also liked to visit their friend, too.

Bear’s owners didn’t realise, but this friend was actually their neighbour, who had grown to become very fond of both cats.

While the couple were still in mourning, they came to find a note attached to Teddy’s collar one day – and that’s when they realised the special friendship the cats had made with their neighbour.
The note reads: ‘Dear Owner; I’m your neighbour, living in 4. I’m also your cats’ close friends as they (2 cats) are used to coming to my room everyday.

‘But one of them, a bigger one has disappeared for two weeks. Is he ok? I’m so worried about him. He is so lovely cat and always touched my heart. Wish he is fine. – Y.T. 2/March/2017.’

Bear’s owner, Reddit user @TravUK, posted the note online, and told Reddit users that he responded to his neighbour.

He said: ‘We posted a letter back into number 4, saying that our other cat had passed away. We also included our email address.’
But that wasn’t the end of the conversation.

When they woke up the next morning, they received a lengthy email from the neighbor, a Taiwanese exchange student, explaining how she loved her time with their cats, especially Bear.

A portion of the email read:

"Bear is so important friend for me. We met in Oct. 2015 when Teddy and Bear came to our garden and stood in front of my room (my room is facing the back garden). I remember I was writing my thesis, suddenly, they just came out and were looking at me. They were just like my supervisor at that time. Our friendship began so funny. After that day we met, they came and played in our house everyday. Also my housemates know these cat brothers.

It still remains a question about Bear. I am not sure why he came to my room EVERYDAY after we met for just sleeping on my sofa for a whole afternoon. Sometimes, he slept all the time in afternoon and then went out for a while and then went back again and slept on my sofa until midnight. His snoring always keeping me awake for helping me focused on my work.

Bear is so touching and talkative. He always talked something that I could feel he tried to say. He was just like an angel for me. He was a good listener when I needed a “person” to help me for rehearsing my presentation. He was my best friend even we couldn’t speak in English. But he entirely touched my heart. I miss him so much. I have a lot of stories about him to say. But I’m so sorry at this moment that I cannot keep a clear mind to write properly."

@TravUK updated his Reddit page to let those following the story know that since receiving the email, he has met with his neighbour, who has also visited Bear at his grave in the garden and placed some flowers where he was buried.

He said: ‘Makes you proud that he could brighten up more than just my household’s lives.’


The Infinite Cat Project
Presented by Mike Stanfill, Private Hand
Illustration, Flash Animation, Web Design

©Mike Stanfill