Mewsings, March 26, 2018: "Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." - Missy Dizick

R.I.P. Keyboard Cat
by Gavin Haynes

Tonight he’s jamming with Kurt and Jimi. Keyboard Cat, the internet meme that bookended a thousand pratfalls, is dead.

In April 2009, thanks in part to a single tweet by Ashton Kutcher, videos of a cat “playing” a junky little Casio riff became the de rigeur way to “play out” any footage of, say, a man falling down an escalator in a wheelchair, a singing woman collapsing a table, or just a mortar round misfiring.

The cat’s owner, Charlie Schmidt, posted the news on Keyboard Cat’s Facebook page, with its 820,000 followers.

Only, that isn’t quite the story. Schmidt’s original clip of a musical cat – the one you’re most likely to have seen – was shot in 1984. Hence the grainy VHS quality, which made the vaporwave-obsessed internet of 2009 fall in love with it. The cat in that video was called Fatso. He died in 1987.

The recently deceased Bento, born in April 2009, just as the Keyboard Cat phenomenon was hitting its peak, was already a remix. It seems that Keyboard Cats can spontaneously regenerate whenever a few million dollars are dangled in front of them.

Schmidt used Bento to make a second Keyboard Cat video, plus any number of side adventures: a parody of Miley Cyrus’s Wrecking Ball, an ad for Wonderful Pistachios, all the way up to a spoof on Banksy’s Exit Through The Pet Shop.

You can hardly blame Schmidt for needing a physical product. Grumpy Cat is reputed to have a net worth of $100m. Within days of the first post to a Reddit thread, Grumpy Cat’s Red Lobster waitress owner was able to quit her job and go full-time. She shares a manager with Keyboard Cat, and with fellow celebrity felis catus, Lil Bub, and with animated cat meme Nyan Cat. Lil Bub generates enough that owner Mike Bridavsky can give away $200,000 a year to animal charities.
Hamilton, the moustache-toting “Hipster Cat”, had a web series, appeared in commercials, and had his own calendar line. Henri, a black cat, who appears, subtitled, in black-and-white, in French, like a cat Sartre, earns a $1,000 a week just from his online store. Appearance fees can be far greater. Maru, a Japanese-owned Scottish Fold, is the most watched cat of all time, with 325m YouTube views of him doing very basic cat stuff, like getting slightly freaked out by boxes.

The internet cat-industrial complex is vast. Cat food company Friskies flew Grumpy Cat, real name Tardar Sauce, first class, to South by Southwest. They paid for a chauffeur, a personal assistant, and unlimited food. At a conference with Al Gore and Elon Musk, she was the star. The 2013 documentary Lil Bub and Friendz began when the makers witnessed 10,000 people turn out to the Internet Cat Video Film Festival.

How do you make a smash like Keyboard Cat? “You start with $850 of cat piano lessons,” Schmidt once quipped. Certainly, it helps if the cat has bodily issues. Keyboard Cat is notable among the truly great cats of the internet for being just a standard moggy, who had to work his way up on his boogie-woogie skills alone. Grumpy Cat has an underbite and feline dwarfism. Lil Bub a short lower jaw, toothlessness and osteopetrosis. Pop Tart Cat (Nyan Cat) has a pop tart for a body. Hipster Cat has a strange white moustache.

Bento’s generation is getting long in the tooth. Perhaps not for nothing has Maru’s owner adopted and begun showcasing a second cat in addition to the 10 year old. The death of a cat is a private tragedy. The death of an internet cat is an economic catastrophe.

Mewsings, March 27, 2018: "One is never sure, watching two cats washing each other, whether it's affection, the taste or a trial run for the jugular."- Helen Thomson

Mewsings, March 28, 2018: "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." - Anonymous

Mewsings, March 29, 2018: "A cat sees no good reason why it should obey another animal, even if it does stand on two legs."- Sarah Thompson

Mewsings, March 30, 2018: "Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place."- Paul Gray

Easter lilies are cat-killers.

(Meredith) – Easter lilies may look pretty, but did you know they are actually hazardous to your cat’s health?

Most cats eat small amounts of plants and grass but lilies are poisonous to felines. If a cat eats the leaves of most lilies, or simply licks pollen grains off of their fur, the exposure could lead to kidney failure.

If your cat vomits right away after eating lilies, you should call your veterinarian right away. As far as urination is concerned, your cat might start to urinate frequently, but that will taper off until urination almost completely stops. If left untreated, a cat may die within a week of eating a lily.

If you suspect your cat has eaten or come in contact with a lily and is showing any signs of illness call your veterinarian immediately.

The best advice for cat owners is keeping lilies out of your home, and if that is not an option, keep them far away from your pet.

What about dogs?

Lilies aren't as dangerous for dogs, but they can give your pup an upset stomach. However, it's generally not life-threatening.